What’s Beneath the Hair?

Times change and sometimes things that were once accepted behavior are no longer OK.   As such, I don’t think that someone should be held accountable by today’s standards for something that was considered normal, conventional, or customary at the time it occurred.  However, I do hope that someone who justifies past behavior on the basis that it was OK when done, would also review that behavior, realize that it may not have been appropriate, even if acceptable at the time, understand why, and perhaps feel some remorse for the past behavior.

This is how I am looking at the alleged, videoed, and admitted past acts of Joe Biden that seem to encroach on the personal space of a variety of women. 

First, let me say that in my experience and observation over the past 70 years, smelling someone’s hair has always been something considered a bit creepy, so I’m not sure how that could ever be justified as something that was once accepted.  Personally, my reaction to the photos and videos I have seen is that his touching and encroachment have probably not been acceptable since at least the late 1950s. 

But, assuming that Biden’s behavior was in some way acceptable at the time the actions were taken, his justification video today show that he does not get that there was, or even is, anything wrong with what he did or that the women might have felt uncomfortable.  He justifies it by saying politics is “hands-on” and that it is the way he “comforts” people.  He says he realizes his way is no longer accepted, that personal space rules have changed, so he will try to follow those rules, but will not change his belief in the necessity of politics being “hands-on.” 

There is no recognition, let alone any apology for causing at least some of the women who suffered his “hands-on” style to be uncomfortable or to feel in some way invaded.   He simply says times have changed and he’ll do better now.   That is not an apology.  That shows no understanding of why the behavior was or is offensive.

I don’t think anyone considers Biden’s actions to be overtly sexually motivated.  But what they reveal is that he saw (and still sees) himself to be somehow the One that could comfort and save these women (the traditional “weaker sex”) when they were in a situation that he assumed was difficult or stressful for them.  That is, he saw himself as somehow superior; he saw the women as individuals who could not make it through without him.

That belief, that women needed him to get through a moment that he thought would be too tough for them belies everything he says about his belief in women’s equality.  Has his proclaimed work for women’s causes been because he believes women are his equal, or because he believes they are inferior and therefor need him to survive?  That, I believe, is the more important question that people should be asking when they discuss whether smelling hair and invading personal space should quash his run for president.

That is, it is the underlying reason for his repeated acts that is key here.  Clearly the acts are not OK now.  Maybe the invasion of a woman’s personal space was more acceptable at the time.  But the real question is why was Biden repeatedly doing this – what does it tell us about what he really thinks of women?  And, does his response telling us he’ll try to be a better boy now indicate that he in any way understands why the actions might be offensive, both on the surface and for what they say about his real belief in women’s equality?  For me, I am not seeing Joe Biden as someone who views women as his equal.